Openings in the Old Trail Read online

  COLONEL STARBOTTLE FOR THE PLAINTIFF

  It had been a day of triumph for Colonel Starbottle. First, for hispersonality, as it would have been difficult to separate the Colonel'sachievements from his individuality; second, for his oratoricalabilities as a sympathetic pleader; and third, for his functions as theleading legal counsel for the Eureka Ditch Company versus the State ofCalifornia. On his strictly legal performances in this issue I prefernot to speak; there were those who denied them, although the jury hadaccepted them in the face of the ruling of the half amused, half cynicalJudge himself. For an hour they had laughed with the Colonel, wept withhim, been stirred to personal indignation or patriotic exaltation byhis passionate and lofty periods,--what else could they do than give himtheir verdict? If it was alleged by some that the American eagle, ThomasJefferson, and the Resolutions of '98 had nothing whatever to do withthe contest of a ditch company over a doubtfully worded legislativedocument; that wholesale abuse of the State Attorney and his politicalmotives had not the slightest connection with the legal questionraised--it was, nevertheless, generally accepted that the losing partywould have been only too glad to have the Colonel on their side. AndColonel Starbottle knew this, as, perspiring, florid, and panting, herebuttoned the lower buttons of his blue frock-coat, which had becomeloosed in an oratorical spasm, and readjusted his old-fashioned,spotless shirt frill above it as he strutted from the court-room amidstthe handshakings and acclamations of his friends.

  And here an unprecedented thing occurred. The Colonel absolutelydeclined spirituous refreshment at the neighboring Palmetto Saloon,and declared his intention of proceeding directly to his office in theadjoining square. Nevertheless, the Colonel quitted the building alone,and apparently unarmed, except for his faithful gold-headed stick,which hung as usual from his forearm. The crowd gazed after him withundisguised admiration of this new evidence of his pluck. It wasremembered also that a mysterious note had been handed to him atthe conclusion of his speech,--evidently a challenge from the StateAttorney. It was quite plain that the Colonel--a practiced duelist--washastening home to answer it.

  But herein they were wrong. The note was in a female hand, and simplyrequested the Colonel to accord an interview with the writer at theColonel's office as soon as he left the court. But it was an engagementthat the Colonel--as devoted to the fair sex as he was to the"code"--was no less prompt in accepting. He flicked away the dust fromhis spotless white trousers and varnished boots with his handkerchief,and settled his black cravat under his Byron collar as he neared hisoffice. He was surprised, however, on opening the door of his privateoffice, to find his visitor already there; he was still more startled tofind her somewhat past middle age and plainly attired. But the Colonelwas brought up in a school of Southern politeness, already antique inthe republic, and his bow of courtesy belonged to the epoch of hisshirt frill and strapped trousers. No one could have detected hisdisappointment in his manner, albeit his sentences were shortand incomplete. But the Colonel's colloquial speech was apt to befragmentary incoherencies of his larger oratorical utterances.

  "A thousand pardons--for--er--having kept a lady waiting--er!But--er--congratulations of friends--and--er--courtesy due tothem--er--interfered with--though perhaps only heightened--byprocrastination--the pleasure of--ha!" And the Colonel completed hissentence with a gallant wave of his fat but white and well-kept hand.

  "Yes! I came to see you along o' that speech of yours. I was in court.When I heard you gettin' it off on that jury, I says to myself, 'That'sthe kind o' lawyer I want. A man that's flowery and convincin'! Just theman to take up our case."

  "Ah! It's a matter of business, I see," said the Colonel, inwardlyrelieved, but externally careless. "And--er--may I ask the nature of thecase?"

  "Well! it's a breach-o'-promise suit," said the visitor calmly.

  If the Colonel had been surprised before, he was now really startled,and with an added horror that required all his politeness to conceal.Breach-of-promise cases were his peculiar aversion. He had always heldthem to be a kind of litigation which could have been obviated by theprompt killing of the masculine offender--in which case he would havegladly defended the killer. But a suit for damages,--DAMAGES!--with thereading of love-letters before a hilarious jury and court, was againstall his instincts. His chivalry was outraged; his sense of humor wassmall, and in the course of his career he had lost one or two importantcases through an unexpected development of this quality in a jury.

  The woman had evidently noticed his hesitation, but mistook its cause."It ain't me--but my darter."

  The Colonel recovered his politeness. "Ah! I am relieved, my dear madam!I could hardly conceive a man ignorant enough to--er--er--throw awaysuch evident good fortune--or base enough to deceive the trustfulness ofwomanhood--matured and experienced only in the chivalry of our sex, ha!"

  The woman smiled grimly. "Yes!--it's my darter, Zaidee Hooker--so yemight spare some of them pretty speeches for HER--before the jury."

  The Colonel winced slightly before this doubtful prospect, but smiled."Ha! Yes!--certainly--the jury. But--er--my dear lady, need we go asfar as that? Can not this affair be settled--er--out of court? Couldnot this--er--individual--be admonished--told that he mustgive satisfaction--personal satisfaction--for his dastardlyconduct--to--er--near relative--or even valued personal friend?The--er--arrangements necessary for that purpose I myself wouldundertake."

  He was quite sincere; indeed, his small black eyes shone with that firewhich a pretty woman or an "affair of honor" could alone kindle. Thevisitor stared vacantly at him, and said slowly, "And what good is thatgoin' to do US?"

  "Compel him to--er--perform his promise," said the Colonel, leaning backin his chair.

  "Ketch him doin' it!" she exclaimed scornfully. "No--that ain't wotwe're after. We must make him PAY! Damages--and nothin' short o' THAT."

  The Colonel bit his lip. "I suppose," he said gloomily, "you havedocumentary evidence--written promises and protestations--er--erlove-letters, in fact?"

  "No--nary a letter! Ye see, that's jest it--and that's where YOU comein. You've got to convince that jury yourself. You've got to show whatit is--tell the whole story your own way. Lord! to a man like you that'snothin'."

  Startling as this admission might have been to any other lawyer,Starbottle was absolutely relieved by it. The absence of anymirth-provoking correspondence, and the appeal solely to his own powersof persuasion, actually struck his fancy. He lightly put aside thecompliment with a wave of his white hand.

  "Of course," he said confidently, "there is strongly presumptive andcorroborative evidence? Perhaps you can give me--er--a brief outline ofthe affair?"

  "Zaidee kin do that straight enough, I reckon," said the woman; "what Iwant to know first is, kin you take the case?"

  The Colonel did not hesitate; his curiosity was piqued. "I certainlycan. I have no doubt your daughter will put me in possession ofsufficient facts and details--to constitute what we call--er--a brief."

  "She kin be brief enough--or long enough--for the matter of that," saidthe woman, rising. The Colonel accepted this implied witticism with asmile.

  "And when may I have the pleasure of seeing her?" he asked politely.

  "Well, I reckon as soon as I can trot out and call her. She's justoutside, meanderin' in the road--kinder shy, ye know, at first."

  She walked to the door. The astounded Colonel nevertheless gallantlyaccompanied her as she stepped out into the street and called shrilly,"You Zaidee!"

  A young girl here apparently detached herself from a tree and theostentatious perusal of an old election poster, and sauntered downtowards the office door. Like her mother, she was plainly dressed;unlike her, she had a pale, rather refined face, with a demure mouth anddowncast eyes. This was all the Colonel saw as he bowed profoundly andled the way into his office, for she accepted his salutations withoutlifting her head. He helped her gallantly to a chair, on which sheseated herself sideways, somewhat ceremoniously, with her eyes followingthe point of her
parasol as she traced a pattern on the carpet. A secondchair offered to the mother that lady, however, declined. "I reckon toleave you and Zaidee together to talk it out," she said; turning to herdaughter, she added, "Jest you tell him all, Zaidee," and before theColonel could rise again, disappeared from the room. In spite of hisprofessional experience, Starbottle was for a moment embarrassed. Theyoung girl, however, broke the silence without looking up.

  "Adoniram K. Hotchkiss," she began, in a monotonous voice, as if it werea recitation addressed to the public, "first began to take notice of mea year ago. Arter that--off and on"--

  "One moment," interrupted the astounded Colonel; "do you mean Hotchkissthe President of the Ditch Company?" He had recognized the name ofa prominent citizen--a rigid, ascetic, taciturn, middle-aged man--adeacon--and more than that, the head of the company he had justdefended. It seemed inconceivable.

  "That's him," she continued, with eyes still fixed on the parasol andwithout changing her monotonous tone--"off and on ever since. Mostof the time at the Free-Will Baptist Church--at morning service,prayer-meetings, and such. And at home--outside--er--in the road."

  "Is it this gentleman--Mr. Adoniram K. Hotchkiss--who--er--promisedmarriage?" stammered the Colonel.

  "Yes."

  The Colonel shifted uneasily in his chair. "Most extraordinary! for--yousee--my dear young lady--this becomes--a--er--most delicate affair."

  "That's what maw said," returned the young woman simply, yet with thefaintest smile playing around her demure lips and downcast cheek.

  "I mean," said the Colonel, with a pained yet courteous smile, "thatthis--er--gentleman--is in fact--er--one of my clients."

  "That's what maw said too, and of course your knowing him will make itall the easier for you."

  A slight flush crossed the Colonel's cheek as he returned quickly and alittle stiffly, "On the contrary--er--it may make it impossible for meto--er--act in this matter."

  The girl lifted her eyes. The Colonel held his breath as the long lasheswere raised to his level. Even to an ordinary observer that suddenrevelation of her eyes seemed to transform her face with subtlewitchery. They were large, brown, and soft, yet filled with anextraordinary penetration and prescience. They were the eyes of anexperienced woman of thirty fixed in the face of a child. What else theColonel saw there Heaven only knows! He felt his inmost secretsplucked from him--his whole soul laid bare--his vanity, belligerency,gallantry--even his mediaeval chivalry, penetrated, and yet illuminated,in that single glance. And when the eyelids fell again, he felt that agreater part of himself had been swallowed up in them.

  "I beg your pardon," he said hurriedly. "I mean--this matter maybe arranged--er--amicably. My interest with--and as you wiselysay--my--er--knowledge of my client--er--Mr. Hotchkiss--may effect--acompromise."

  "And DAMAGES," said the young girl, readdressing her parasol, as if shehad never looked up.

  The Colonel winced. "And--er--undoubtedly COMPENSATION--if you do notpress a fulfillment of the promise. Unless," he said, with an attemptedreturn to his former easy gallantry, which, however, the recollection ofher eyes made difficult, "it is a question of--er--the affections."

  "Which?" asked his fair client softly.

  "If you still love him?" explained the Colonel, actually blushing.

  Zaidee again looked up; again taking the Colonel's breath away with eyesthat expressed not only the fullest perception of what he had SAID, butof what he thought and had not said, and with an added subtle suggestionof what he might have thought. "That's tellin'," she said, dropping herlong lashes again.

  The Colonel laughed vacantly. Then feeling himself growing imbecile, heforced an equally weak gravity. "Pardon me--I understand there are noletters; may I know the way in which he formulated his declaration andpromises?"

  "Hymn-books."

  "I beg your pardon," said the mystified lawyer.

  "Hymn-books--marked words in them with pencil--and passed 'em on tome," repeated Zaidee. "Like 'love,' 'dear,' 'precious,' 'sweet,' and'blessed,'" she added, accenting each word with a push of her parasol onthe carpet. "Sometimes a whole line outer Tate and Brady--and Solomon'sSong, you know, and sich."

  "I believe," said the Colonel loftily, "that the--er--phrases of sacredpsalmody lend themselves to the language of the affections. But inregard to the distinct promise of marriage--was there--er--no OTHERexpression?"

  "Marriage Service in the prayer-book--lines and words outer that--allmarked," Zaidee replied.

  The Colonel nodded naturally and approvingly. "Very good. Were otherscognizant of this? Were there any witnesses?"

  "Of course not," said the girl. "Only me and him. It was generally atchurch-time--or prayer-meeting. Once, in passing the plate, he slippedone o' them peppermint lozenges with the letters stamped on it 'I loveyou' for me to take."

  The Colonel coughed slightly. "And you have the lozenge?"

  "I ate it."

  "Ah," said the Colonel. After a pause he added delicately, "But werethese attentions--er--confined to--er--sacred precincts? Did he meet youelsewhere?"

  "Useter pass our house on the road," returned the girl, dropping intoher monotonous recital, "and useter signal."

  "Ah, signal?" repeated the Colonel approvingly.

  "Yes! He'd say 'Keerow,' and I'd say 'Keeree.' Suthing like a bird, youknow."

  Indeed, as she lifted her voice in imitation of the call, the Colonelthought it certainly very sweet and birdlike. At least as SHE gaveit. With his remembrance of the grim deacon he had doubts as to themelodiousness of HIS utterance. He gravely made her repeat it.

  "And after that signal?" he added suggestively.

  "He'd pass on."

  The Colonel again coughed slightly, and tapped his desk with hispenholder.

  "Were there any endearments--er--caresses--er--such as taking yourhand--er--clasping your waist?" he suggested, with a gallant yetrespectful sweep of his white hand and bowing of his head; "er--slightpressure of your fingers in the changes of a dance--I mean," hecorrected himself, with an apologetic cough--"in the passing of theplate?"

  "No; he was not what you'd call 'fond,'" returned the girl.

  "Ah! Adoniram K. Hotchkiss was not 'fond' in the ordinary acceptance ofthe word," noted the Colonel, with professional gravity.

  She lifted her disturbing eyes, and again absorbed his in her own. Shealso said "Yes," although her eyes in their mysterious prescience of allhe was thinking disclaimed the necessity of any answer at all. He smiledvacantly. There was a long pause. On which she slowly disengaged herparasol from the carpet pattern, and stood up.

  "I reckon that's about all," she said.

  "Er--yes--but one moment," began the Colonel vaguely. He would haveliked to keep her longer, but with her strange premonition of him hefelt powerless to detain her, or explain his reason for doing so. Heinstinctively knew she had told him all; his professional judgment toldhim that a more hopeless case had never come to his knowledge. Yet hewas not daunted, only embarrassed. "No matter," he said. "Of course Ishall have to consult with you again."

  Her eyes again answered that she expected he would, and she addedsimply, "When?"

  "In the course of a day or two;" he replied quickly. "I will send youword."

  She turned to go. In his eagerness to open the door for her, he upsethis chair, and with some confusion, that was actually youthful, healmost impeded her movements in the hall, and knocked his broad-brimmedPanama hat from his bowing hand in a final gallant sweep. Yet as hersmall, trim, youthful figure, with its simple Leghorn straw hat confinedby a blue bow under her round chin, passed away before him, she lookedmore like a child than ever.

  The Colonel spent that afternoon in making diplomatic inquiries. Hefound his youthful client was the daughter of a widow who had a smallranch on the cross-roads, near the new Free-Will Baptist Church--theevident theatre of this pastoral. They led a secluded life, thegirl being little known in the town, and her beauty and fascinationapparently not yet being a recognized fact. The C
olonel felt apleasurable relief at this, and a general satisfaction he could notaccount for. His few inquiries concerning Mr. Hotchkiss only confirmedhis own impressions of the alleged lover,--a serious-minded, practicallyabstracted man, abstentive of youthful society, and the last manapparently capable of levity of the affections or serious flirtation.The Colonel was mystified, but determined of purpose, whatever thatpurpose might have been.

  The next day he was at his office at the same hour. He was alone--asusual--the Colonel's office being really his private lodgings, disposedin connecting rooms, a single apartment reserved for consultation.He had no clerk, his papers and briefs being taken by his faithfulbody-servant and ex-slave "Jim" to another firm who did his office worksince the death of Major Stryker, the Colonel's only law partner, whofell in a duel some years previous. With a fine constancy the Colonelstill retained his partner's name on his doorplate, and, it was allegedby the superstitious, kept a certain invincibility also through the'manes' of that lamented and somewhat feared man.

  The Colonel consulted his watch, whose heavy gold case still showedthe marks of a providential interference with a bullet destined for itsowner, and replaced it with some difficulty and shortness of breath inhis fob. At the same moment he heard a step in the passage, and the dooropened to Adoniram K. Hotchkiss. The Colonel was impressed; he had aduelist's respect for punctuality.

  The man entered with a nod and the expectant inquiring look of a busyman. As his feet crossed that sacred threshold the Colonel became allcourtesy; he placed a chair for his visitor, and took his hat from hishalf reluctant hand. He then opened a cupboard and brought out a bottleof whiskey and two glasses.

  "A--er--slight refreshment, Mr. Hotchkiss," he suggested politely.

  "I never drink," replied Hotchkiss, with the severe attitude of a totalabstainer.

  "Ah--er--not the finest Bourbon whiskey, selected by a Kentucky friend?No? Pardon me! A cigar, then--the mildest Havana."

  "I do not use tobacco nor alcohol in any form," repeated Hotchkissascetically. "I have no foolish weaknesses."

  The Colonel's moist, beady eyes swept silently over his client's sallowface. He leaned back comfortably in his chair, and half closing hiseyes as in dreamy reminiscence, said slowly: "Your reply, Mr. Hotchkiss,reminds me of--er--sing'lar circumstance that--er--occurred, in point offact--at the St. Charles Hotel, New Orleans. Pinkey Hornblower--personalfriend--invited Senator Doolittle to join him in social glass. Received,sing'larly enough, reply similar to yours. 'Don't drink nor smoke?' saidPinkey. 'Gad, sir, you must be mighty sweet on the ladies.' Ha!"The Colonel paused long enough to allow the faint flush to pass fromHotchkiss's cheek, and went on, half closing his eyes: "'I allow no man,sir, to discuss my personal habits,' declared Doolittle, over his shirtcollar. 'Then I reckon shootin' must be one of those habits,' saidPinkey coolly. Both men drove out on the Shell Road back of cemeterynext morning. Pinkey put bullet at twelve paces through Doolittle'stemple. Poor Doo never spoke again. Left three wives and seven children,they say--two of 'em black."

  "I got a note from you this morning," said Hotchkiss, with badlyconcealed impatience. "I suppose in reference to our case. You havetaken judgment, I believe."

  The Colonel, without replying, slowly filled a glass of whiskey andwater. For a moment he held it dreamily before him, as if still engagedin gentle reminiscences called up by the act. Then tossing it off,he wiped his lips with a large white handkerchief, and leaning backcomfortably in his chair, said, with a wave of his hand, "The interviewI requested, Mr. Hotchkiss, concerns a subject--which I may sayis--er--er--at present NOT of a public or business nature--althoughLATER it might become--er--er--both. It is an affair ofsome--er--delicacy."

  The Colonel paused, and Mr. Hotchkiss regarded him with increasedimpatience. The Colonel, however, continued, with unchangeddeliberation: "It concerns--er--er--a young lady--a beautiful,high-souled creature, sir, who, apart from her personalloveliness--er--er--I may say is of one of the first families ofMissouri, and--er--not remotely connected by marriage with oneof--er--er--my boyhood's dearest friends." The latter, I grieve to say,was a pure invention of the Colonel's--an oratorical addition to thescanty information he had obtained the previous day. "The young lady,"he continued blandly, "enjoys the further distinction of beingthe object of such attention from you as would make thisinterview--really--a confidential matter--er--er among friendsand--er--er--relations in present and future. I need not say that thelady I refer to is Miss Zaidee Juno Hooker, only daughter of AlmiraAnn Hooker, relict of Jefferson Brown Hooker, formerly of Boone County,Kentucky, and latterly of--er--Pike County, Missouri."

  The sallow, ascetic hue of Mr. Hotchkiss's face had passed through alivid and then a greenish shade, and finally settled into a sullen red."What's all this about?" he demanded roughly.

  The least touch of belligerent fire came into Starbottle's eye, but hisbland courtesy did not change. "I believe," he said politely, "I havemade myself clear as between--er--gentlemen, though perhaps not as clearas I should to--er--er--jury."

  Mr. Hotchkiss was apparently struck with some significance in thelawyer's reply. "I don't know," he said, in a lower and more cautiousvoice, "what you mean by what you call 'my attentions' to--any one--orhow it concerns you. I have not exchanged half a dozen words with--theperson you name--have never written her a line--nor even called at herhouse."

  He rose with an assumption of ease, pulled down his waistcoat, buttonedhis coat, and took up his hat. The Colonel did not move.

  "I believe I have already indicated my meaning in what I have called'your attentions,'" said the Colonel blandly, "and given you my'concern' for speaking as--er--er--mutual friend. As to YOUR statementof your relations with Miss Hooker, I may state that it is fullycorroborated by the statement of the young lady herself in this veryoffice yesterday."

  "Then what does this impertinent nonsense mean? Why am I summoned here?"demanded Hotchkiss furiously.

  "Because," said the Colonel deliberately, "that statement isinfamously--yes, damnably to your discredit, sir!"

  Mr. Hotchkiss was here seized by one of those impotent and inconsistentrages which occasionally betray the habitually cautious and timid man.He caught up the Colonel's stick, which was lying on the table. At thesame moment the Colonel, without any apparent effort, grasped it bythe handle. To Mr. Hotchkiss's astonishment, the stick separated in twopieces, leaving the handle and about two feet of narrow glittering steelin the Colonel's hand. The man recoiled, dropping the useless fragment.The Colonel picked it up, fitted the shining blade in it, clicked thespring, and then rising with a face of courtesy yet of unmistakablygenuine pain, and with even a slight tremor in his voice, saidgravely,--

  "Mr. Hotchkiss, I owe you a thousand apologies, sir, that--er--a weaponshould be drawn by me--even through your own inadvertence--under thesacred protection of my roof, and upon an unarmed man. I beg yourpardon, sir, and I even withdraw the expressions which provokedthat inadvertence. Nor does this apology prevent you from holding meresponsible--personally responsible--ELSEWHERE for an indiscretioncommitted in behalf of a lady--my--er--client."

  "Your client? Do you mean you have taken her case? You, the counsel forthe Ditch Company?" asked Mr. Hotchkiss, in trembling indignation.

  "Having won YOUR case, sir," replied the Colonel coolly,"the--er--usages of advocacy do not prevent me from espousing the causeof the weak and unprotected."

  "We shall see, sir," said Hotchkiss, grasping the handle of the door andbacking into the passage. "There are other lawyers who"--

  "Permit me to see you out," interrupted the Colonel, rising politely.

  --"will be ready to resist the attacks of blackmail," continuedHotchkiss, retreating along the passage.

  "And then you will be able to repeat your remarks to me IN THE STREET,"continued the Colonel, bowing, as he persisted in following his visitorto the door.

  But here Mr. Hotchkiss quickly slammed it behind him, and hurried away.The Colonel returned to his office, and sitting down
, took a sheet ofletter-paper bearing the inscription "Starbottle and Stryker, Attorneysand Counselors," and wrote the following lines:--

  HOOKER versus HOTCHKISS.

  DEAR MADAM,--Having had a visit from the defendant in above, we shouldbe pleased to have an interview with you at two P. M. to-morrow.

  Your obedient servants,

  STARBOTTLE AND STRYKER.

  This he sealed and dispatched by his trusted servant Jim, and thendevoted a few moments to reflection. It was the custom of the Colonel toact first, and justify the action by reason afterwards.

  He knew that Hotchkiss would at once lay the matter before rivalcounsel. He knew that they would advise him that Miss Hooker had "nocase"--that she would be nonsuited on her own evidence, and he ought notto compromise, but be ready to stand trial. He believed, however, thatHotchkiss feared such exposure, and although his own instincts had beenat first against this remedy, he was now instinctively in favor of it.He remembered his own power with a jury; his vanity and his chivalryalike approved of this heroic method; he was bound by no prosaicfacts--he had his own theory of the case, which no mere evidence couldgainsay. In fact, Mrs. Hooker's admission that he was to "tell the storyin his own way" actually appeared to him an inspiration and a prophecy.

  Perhaps there was something else, due possibly to the lady's wonderfuleyes, of which he had thought much. Yet it was not her simplicity thataffected him solely; on the contrary, it was her apparent intelligentreading of the character of her recreant lover--and of his own! Of allthe Colonel's previous "light" or "serious" loves, none had ever beforeflattered him in that way. And it was this, combined with the respectwhich he had held for their professional relations, that precludedhis having a more familiar knowledge of his client, through seriousquestioning or playful gallantry. I am not sure it was not part of thecharm to have a rustic femme incomprise as a client.

  Nothing could exceed the respect with which he greeted her as sheentered his office the next day. He even affected not to notice that shehad put on her best clothes, and he made no doubt appeared as whenshe had first attracted the mature yet faithless attentions of DeaconHotchkiss at church. A white virginal muslin was belted around her slimfigure by a blue ribbon, and her Leghorn hat was drawn around her ovalcheek by a bow of the same color. She had a Southern girl's narrow feet,encased in white stockings and kid slippers, which were crossed primlybefore her as she sat in a chair, supporting her arm by her faithfulparasol planted firmly on the floor. A faint odor of southernwoodexhaled from her, and, oddly enough, stirred the Colonel with a far-offrecollection of a pine-shaded Sunday-school on a Georgia hillside, andof his first love, aged ten, in a short starched frock. Possibly it wasthe same recollection that revived something of the awkwardness he hadfelt then.

  He, however, smiled vaguely, and sitting down, coughed slightly, andplaced his finger-tips together. "I have had an--er--interview withMr. Hotchkiss, but--I--er--regret to say there seems to be no prospectof--er--compromise."

  He paused, and to his surprise her listless "company" face lit up withan adorable smile. "Of course!--ketch him!" she said. "Was he mad whenyou told him?" She put her knees comfortably together and leaned forwardfor a reply.

  For all that, wild horses could not have torn from the Colonel a wordabout Hotchkiss's anger. "He expressed his intention of employingcounsel--and defending a suit," returned the Colonel, affably basking inher smile.

  She dragged her chair nearer his desk. "Then you'll fight him tooth andnail?" she asked eagerly; "you'll show him up? You'll tell the wholestory your own way? You'll give him fits?--and you'll make him pay?Sure?" she went on breathlessly.

  "I--er--will," said the Colonel, almost as breathlessly.

  She caught his fat white hand, which was lying on the table, betweenher own and lifted it to her lips. He felt her soft young fingers eventhrough the lisle-thread gloves that encased them, and the warm moistureof her lips upon his skin. He felt himself flushing--but was unableto break the silence or change his position. The next moment she hadscuttled back with her chair to her old position.

  "I--er--certainly shall do my best," stammered the Colonel, in anattempt to recover his dignity and composure.

  "That's enough! You'll do it," said she enthusiastically. "Lordy! Justyou talk for ME as ye did for HIS old Ditch Company, and you'll fetchit--every time! Why, when you made that jury sit up the other day--whenyou got that off about the Merrikan flag waving equally over the rightsof honest citizens banded together in peaceful commercial pursuits, aswell as over the fortress of official proflig--"

  "Oligarchy," murmured the Colonel courteously.

  --"oligarchy," repeated the girl quickly, "my breath was just took away.I said to maw, 'Ain't he too sweet for anything!' I did, honest Injin!And when you rolled it all off at the end--never missing a word (youdidn't need to mark 'em in a lesson-book, but had 'em all ready on yourtongue)--and walked out--Well! I didn't know you nor the Ditch Companyfrom Adam, but I could have just run over and kissed you there beforethe whole court!"

  She laughed, with her face glowing, although her strange eyes were castdown. Alack! the Colonel's face was equally flushed, and his own beadyeyes were on his desk. To any other woman he would have voiced the banalgallantry that he should now, himself, look forward to that reward, butthe words never reached his lips. He laughed, coughed slightly, and whenhe looked up again she had fallen into the same attitude as on her firstvisit, with her parasol point on the floor.

  "I must ask you to--er--direct your memory to--er--another point: thebreaking off of the--er--er--er--engagement. Did he--er--give any reasonfor it? Or show any cause?"

  "No; he never said anything," returned the girl.

  "Not in his usual way?--er--no reproaches out of the hymn-book?--or thesacred writings?"

  "No; he just QUIT."

  "Er--ceased his attentions," said the Colonel gravely. "And naturallyyou--er--were not conscious of any cause for his doing so."

  The girl raised her wonderful eyes so suddenly and so penetratinglywithout replying in any other way that the Colonel could only hurriedlysay: "I see! None, of course!"

  At which she rose, the Colonel rising also. "We--shall begin proceedingsat once. I must, however, caution you to answer no questions, nor sayanything about this case to any one until you are in court."

  She answered his request with another intelligent look and a nod. Heaccompanied her to the door. As he took her proffered hand, he raisedthe lisle-thread fingers to his lips with old-fashioned gallantry. As ifthat act had condoned for his first omissions and awkwardness, he becamehis old-fashioned self again, buttoned his coat, pulled out his shirtfrill, and strutted back to his desk.

  A day or two later it was known throughout the town that Zaidee Hookerhad sued Adoniram Hotchkiss for breach of promise, and that the damageswere laid at five thousand dollars. As in those bucolic days the Westernpress was under the secure censorship of a revolver, a cautious tone ofcriticism prevailed, and any gossip was confined to personal expression,and even then at the risk of the gossiper. Nevertheless, the situationprovoked the intensest curiosity. The Colonel was approached--untilhis statement that he should consider any attempt to overcome hisprofessional secrecy a personal reflection withheld further advances.The community were left to the more ostentatious information of thedefendant's counsel, Messrs. Kitcham and Bilser, that the case was"ridiculous" and "rotten," that the plaintiff would be nonsuited, andthe fire-eating Starbottle would be taught a lesson that he could not"bully" the law, and there were some dark hints of a conspiracy. It waseven hinted that the "case" was the revengeful and preposterous outcomeof the refusal of Hotchkiss to pay Starbottle an extravagant fee for hislate services to the Ditch Company. It is unnecessary to say that thesewords were not reported to the Colonel. It was, however, an unfortunatecircumstance for the calmer, ethical consideration of the subject thatthe Church sided with Hotchkiss, as this provoked an equal adherenceto the plaintiff and Starbottle on the part of the larger body ofnon-churchgo
ers, who were delighted at a possible exposure of theweakness of religious rectitude. "I've allus had my suspicions o' themearly candle-light meetings down at that gospel shop," said one critic,"and I reckon Deacon Hotchkiss didn't rope in the gals to attend jestfor psalm-singing." "Then for him to get up and leave the board aforethe game's finished and try to sneak out of it," said an other,--"Isuppose that's what they call RELIGIOUS."

  It was therefore not remarkable that the court-house three weeks laterwas crowded with an excited multitude of the curious and sympathizing.The fair plaintiff, with her mother, was early in attendance, and underthe Colonel's advice appeared in the same modest garb in which she hadfirst visited his office. This and her downcast, modest demeanor wereperhaps at first disappointing to the crowd, who had evidently expecteda paragon of loveliness in this Circe of that grim, ascetic defendant,who sat beside his counsel. But presently all eyes were fixed on theColonel, who certainly made up in his appearance any deficiency of hisfair client. His portly figure was clothed in a blue dress coat withbrass buttons, a buff waistcoat which permitted his frilled shirt-frontto become erectile above it, a black satin stock which confined a boyishturned-down collar around his full neck, and immaculate drill trousers,strapped over varnished boots. A murmur ran round the court. "Old'Personally Responsible' has got his war-paint on;" "The Old War-Horseis smelling powder," were whispered comments. Yet for all that, themost irreverent among them recognized vaguely, in this bizarre figure,something of an honored past in their country's history, and possiblyfelt the spell of old deeds and old names that had once thrilled theirboyish pulses. The new District Judge returned Colonel Starbottle'sprofoundly punctilious bow. The Colonel was followed by his negroservant, carrying a parcel of hymn-books and Bibles, who, with acourtesy evidently imitated from his master, placed one before theopposite counsel. This, after a first curious glance, the lawyersomewhat superciliously tossed aside. But when Jim, proceeding to thejury-box, placed with equal politeness the remaining copies before thejury, the opposite counsel sprang to his feet.

  "I want to direct the attention of the Court to this unprecedentedtampering with the jury, by this gratuitous exhibition of matterimpertinent and irrelevant to the issue."

  The Judge cast an inquiring look at Colonel Starbottle.

  "May it please the Court," returned Colonel Starbottle with dignity,ignoring the counsel, "the defendant's counsel will observe that heis already furnished with the matter--which I regret to say he hastreated--in the presence of the Court--and of his client, a deacon ofthe church--with--er--great superciliousness. When I state to yourHonor that the books in question are hymn-books and copies of the HolyScriptures, and that they are for the instruction of the jury, to whomI shall have to refer them in the course of my opening, I believe I amwithin my rights."

  "The act is certainly unprecedented," said the Judge dryly, "but unlessthe counsel for the plaintiff expects the jury to SING from thesehymn-books, their introduction is not improper, and I cannot admit theobjection. As defendant's counsel are furnished with copies also, theycannot plead 'surprise,' as in the introduction of new matter, and asplaintiff's counsel relies evidently upon the jury's attention to hisopening, he would not be the first person to distract it." After a pausehe added, addressing the Colonel, who remained standing, "The Court iswith you, sir; proceed."

  But the Colonel remained motionless and statuesque, with folded arms.

  "I have overruled the objection," repeated the Judge; "you may go on."

  "I am waiting, your Honor, for the--er--withdrawal by the defendant'scounsel of the word 'tampering,' as refers to myself, and of'impertinent,' as refers to the sacred volumes."

  "The request is a proper one, and I have no doubt will be acceded to,"returned the Judge quietly. The defendant's counsel rose and mumbleda few words of apology, and the incident closed. There was, however, ageneral feeling that the Colonel had in some way "scored," and if hisobject had been to excite the greatest curiosity about the books, he hadmade his point.

  But impassive of his victory, he inflated his chest, with his right handin the breast of his buttoned coat, and began. His usual high color hadpaled slightly, but the small pupils of his prominent eyes glitteredlike steel. The young girl leaned forward in her chair with an attentionso breathless, a sympathy so quick, and an admiration so artlessand unconscious that in an instant she divided with the speaker theattention of the whole assemblage. It was very hot; the court wascrowded to suffocation; even the open windows revealed a crowd of facesoutside the building, eagerly following the Colonel's words.

  He would remind the jury that only a few weeks ago he stood there asthe advocate of a powerful Company, then represented by the presentdefendant. He spoke then as the champion of strict justice againstlegal oppression; no less should he to-day champion the cause of theunprotected and the comparatively defenseless--save for that paramountpower which surrounds beauty and innocence--even though the plaintiffof yesterday was the defendant of to-day. As he approached the court amoment ago he had raised his eyes and beheld the starry flag flying fromits dome, and he knew that glorious banner was a symbol of the perfectequality, under the Constitution, of the rich and the poor, the strongand the weak--an equality which made the simple citizen taken from theplough in the field, the pick in the gulch, or from behind the counterin the mining town, who served on that jury, the equal arbiters ofjustice with that highest legal luminary whom they were proud to welcomeon the bench to-day. The Colonel paused, with a stately bow to theimpassive Judge. It was this, he continued, which lifted his heart ashe approached the building. And yet--he had entered it with anuncertain--he might almost say--a timid step. And why? He knew,gentlemen, he was about to confront a profound--aye! a sacredresponsibility! Those hymn-books and holy writings handed to the jurywere NOT, as his Honor had surmised, for the purpose of enabling thejury to indulge in--er--preliminary choral exercise! He might, indeed,say, "Alas, not!" They were the damning, incontrovertible proofs of theperfidy of the defendant. And they would prove as terrible a warning tohim as the fatal characters upon Belshazzar's wall. There was a strongsensation. Hotchkiss turned a sallow green. His lawyers assumed acareless smile.

  It was his duty to tell them that this was not one of those ordinary"breach-of-promise" cases which were too often the occasion of ruthlessmirth and indecent levity in the court-room. The jury would findnothing of that here. There were no love-letters with the epithets ofendearment, nor those mystic crosses and ciphers which, he had beencredibly informed, chastely hid the exchange of those mutual caressesknown as "kisses." There was no cruel tearing of the veil from thosesacred privacies of the human affection; there was no forensic shoutingout of those fond confidences meant only for ONE. But there was, he wasshocked to say, a new sacrilegious intrusion. The weak pipings of Cupidwere mingled with the chorus of the saints,--the sanctity of the templeknown as the "meeting--house" was desecrated by proceedings more inkeeping with the shrine of Venus; and the inspired writings themselveswere used as the medium of amatory and wanton flirtation by thedefendant in his sacred capacity as deacon.

  The Colonel artistically paused after this thunderous denunciation. Thejury turned eagerly to the leaves of the hymn-books, but the larger gazeof the audience remained fixed upon the speaker and the girl, who sat inrapt admiration of his periods. After the hush, the Colonel continuedin a lower and sadder voice: "There are, perhaps, few of us here,gentlemen,--with the exception of the defendant,--who can arrogate tothemselves the title of regular church-goers, or to whom these humblerfunctions of the prayer-meeting, the Sunday-school, and the Bible-classare habitually familiar. Yet"--more solemnly--"down in our hearts is thedeep conviction of our shortcomings and failings, and a laudable desirethat others, at least, should profit by the teachings we neglect.Perhaps," he continued, closing his eyes dreamily, "there is not aman here who does not recall the happy days of his boyhood, the rusticvillage spire, the lessons shared with some artless village maiden, withwhom he later sauntered, hand in hand, th
rough the woods, as the simplerhyme rose upon their lips,--

  'Always make it a point to have it a rule, Never to be late at the Sabbath-school.'

  "He would recall the strawberry feasts, the welcome annual picnic,redolent with hunks of gingerbread and sarsaparilla. How would they feelto know that these sacred recollections were now forever profaned intheir memory by the knowledge that the defendant was capable of usingsuch occasions to make love to the larger girls and teachers, whilsthis artless companions were innocently--the Court will pardon me forintroducing what I am credibly informed is the local expression--'doinggooseberry'?" The tremulous flicker of a smile passed over the faces ofthe listening crowd, and the Colonel slightly winced. But he recoveredhimself instantly, and continued,--

  "My client, the only daughter of a widowed mother--who has for yearsstemmed the varying tides of adversity, in the western precincts of thistown--stands before you to-day invested only in her own innocence. Shewears no--er--rich gifts of her faithless admirer--is panoplied in nojewels, rings, nor mementos of affection such as lovers delight to hangupon the shrine of their affections; hers is not the glory with whichSolomon decorated the Queen of Sheba, though the defendant, as I shallshow later, clothed her in the less expensive flowers of the king'spoetry. No, gentlemen! The defendant exhibited in this affair a certainfrugality of--er--pecuniary investment, which I am willing to admit maybe commendable in his class. His only gift was characteristic alikeof his methods and his economy. There is, I understand, a certainnot unimportant feature of religious exercise known as 'taking acollection.' The defendant, on this occasion, by the mute presentationof a tin plate covered with baize, solicited the pecuniary contributionsof the faithful. On approaching the plaintiff, however, he himselfslipped a love-token upon the plate and pushed it towards her. Thatlove-token was a lozenge--a small disk, I have reason to believe,concocted of peppermint and sugar, bearing upon its reverse surface thesimple words, 'I love you!' I have since ascertained that these disksmay be bought for five cents a dozen--or at considerably less than onehalf cent for the single lozenge. Yes, gentlemen, the words 'I loveyou!'--the oldest legend of all; the refrain 'when the morningstars sang together'--were presented to the plaintiff by a medium soinsignificant that there is, happily, no coin in the republic low enoughto represent its value.

  "I shall prove to you, gentlemen of the jury," said the Colonelsolemnly, drawing a Bible from his coat-tail pocket, "that the defendantfor the last twelve months conducted an amatory correspondence withthe plaintiff by means of underlined words of Sacred Writ and churchpsalmody, such as 'beloved,' 'precious,' and 'dearest,' occasionallyappropriating whole passages which seemed apposite to his tenderpassion. I shall call your attention to one of them. The defendant,while professing to be a total abstainer,--a man who, in my ownknowledge, has refused spirituous refreshment as an inordinate weaknessof the flesh,--with shameless hypocrisy underscores with his pencil thefollowing passage, and presents it to the plaintiff. The gentlemen ofthe jury will find it in the Song of Solomon, page 548, chapter ii.verse 5." After a pause, in which the rapid rustling of leaves was heardin the jury-box, Colonel Starbottle declaimed in a pleading, stentorianvoice, "'Stay me with--er--FLAGONS, comfort me with--er--apples--forI am--er--sick of love.' Yes, gentlemen!--yes, you may well turnfrom those accusing pages and look at the double-faced defendant. Hedesires--to--er--be--'stayed with flagons'! I am not aware at presentwhat kind of liquor is habitually dispensed at these meetings, and forwhich the defendant so urgently clamored; but it will be my duty, beforethis trial is over, to discover it, if I have to summon every barkeeperin this district. For the moment I will simply call your attention tothe QUANTITY. It is not a single drink that the defendant asks for--nota glass of light and generous wine, to be shared with his inamorata,but a number of flagons or vessels, each possibly holding a pintmeasure--FOR HIMSELF!"

  The smile of the audience had become a laugh. The Judge looked upwarningly, when his eye caught the fact that the Colonel had againwinced at this mirth. He regarded him seriously. Mr. Hotchkiss's counselhad joined in the laugh affectedly, but Hotchkiss himself sat ashy pale.There was also a commotion in the jury-box, a hurried turning over ofleaves, and an excited discussion.

  "The gentlemen of the jury," said the Judge, with official gravity,"will please keep order and attend only to the speeches of counsel. Anydiscussion HERE is irregular and premature, and must be reserved for thejury-room after they have retired."

  The foreman of the jury struggled to his feet. He was a powerful man,with a good-humored face, and, in spite of his unfelicitous nickname of"The Bone-Breaker," had a kindly, simple, but somewhat emotional nature.Nevertheless, it appeared as if he were laboring under some powerfulindignation.

  "Can we ask a question, Judge?" he said respectfully, although his voicehad the unmistakable Western American ring in it, as of one who wasunconscious that he could be addressing any but his peers.

  "Yes," said the Judge good-humoredly.

  "We're finding in this yere piece, out o' which the Kernel hes just bina-quotin', some language that me and my pardners allow hadn't orter beread out afore a young lady in court, and we want to know of you--ez afa'r-minded and impartial man--ef this is the reg'lar kind o' book givento gals and babies down at the meetin'-house."

  "The jury will please follow the counsel's speech without comment," saidthe Judge briefly, fully aware that the defendant's counsel would springto his feet, as he did promptly.

  "The Court will allow us to explain to the gentlemen that the languagethey seem to object to has been accepted by the best theologians forthe last thousand years as being purely mystic. As I will explain later,those are merely symbols of the Church"--

  "Of wot?" interrupted the foreman, in deep scorn.

  "Of the Church!"

  "We ain't askin' any questions o' YOU, and we ain't takin' any answers,"said the foreman, sitting down abruptly.

  "I must insist," said the Judge sternly, "that the plaintiff's counselbe allowed to continue his opening without interruption. You" (todefendant's counsel) "will have your opportunity to reply later."

  The counsel sank down in his seat with the bitter conviction that thejury was manifestly against him, and the case as good as lost. But hisface was scarcely as disturbed as his client's, who, in great agitation,had begun to argue with him wildly, and was apparently pressing somepoint against the lawyer's vehement opposal. The Colonel's murky eyesbrightened as he still stood erect, with his hand thrust in his breast.

  "It will be put to you, gentlemen, when the counsel on the other siderefrains from mere interruption and confines himself to reply, that myunfortunate client has no action--no remedy at law--because there wereno spoken words of endearment. But, gentlemen, it will depend upon YOUto say what are and what are not articulate expressions of love. We allknow that among the lower animals, with whom you may possibly be calledupon to classify the defendant, there are certain signals more or lessharmonious, as the case may be. The ass brays, the horse neighs, thesheep bleats--the feathered denizens of the grove call to their matesin more musical roundelays. These are recognized facts, gentlemen, whichyou yourselves, as dwellers among nature in this beautiful land, are allcognizant of. They are facts that no one would deny--and we should havea poor opinion of the ass who, at--er--such a supreme moment,would attempt to suggest that his call was unthinking and withoutsignificance. But, gentlemen, I shall prove to you that such was thefoolish, self-convicting custom of the defendant. With the greatestreluctance, and the--er--greatest pain, I succeeded in wresting fromthe maidenly modesty of my fair client the innocent confession thatthe defendant had induced her to correspond with him in these methods.Picture to yourself, gentlemen, the lonely moonlight road beside thewidow's humble cottage. It is a beautiful night, sanctified to theaffections, and the innocent girl is leaning from her casement.Presently there appears upon the road a slinking, stealthy figure, thedefendant on his way to church. True to the instruction she has receivedfrom him, her lip
s part in the musical utterance" (the Colonel loweredhis voice in a faint falsetto, presumably in fond imitation of hisfair client), "'Keeree!' Instantly the night becomes resonant with theimpassioned reply" (the Colonel here lifted his voice in stentoriantones), "'Kee-row.' Again, as he passes, rises the soft 'Keeree;' again,as his form is lost in the distance, comes back the deep 'Keerow.'"

  A burst of laughter, long, loud, and irrepressible, struck the wholecourt-room, and before the Judge could lift his half-composed faceand take his handkerchief from his mouth, a faint "Keeree" from someunrecognized obscurity of the court-room was followed by a loud "Keerow"from some opposite locality. "The Sheriff will clear the court," saidthe Judge sternly; but, alas! as the embarrassed and choking officialsrushed hither and thither, a soft "Keeree" from the spectators atthe window, OUTSIDE the court-house, was answered by a loud chorus of"Keerows" from the opposite windows, filled with onlookers. Againthe laughter arose everywhere,--even the fair plaintiff herself satconvulsed behind her handkerchief.

  The figure of Colonel Starbottle alone remained erect--white and rigid.And then the Judge, looking up, saw--what no one else in the court hadseen--that the Colonel was sincere and in earnest; that what he hadconceived to be the pleader's most perfect acting and most elaborateirony were the deep, serious, mirthless CONVICTIONS of a man without theleast sense of humor. There was the respect of this conviction inthe Judge's voice as he said to him gently, "You may proceed, ColonelStarbottle."

  "I thank your Honor," said the Colonel slowly, "for recognizing anddoing all in your power to prevent an interruption that, during mythirty years' experience at the bar, I have never been subjectedto without the privilege of holding the instigators thereofresponsible--PERSONALLY responsible. It is possibly my fault that I havefailed, oratorically, to convey to the gentlemen of the jury the fullforce and significance of the defendant's signals. I am aware that myvoice is singularly deficient in producing either the dulcet tones of myfair client or the impassioned vehemence of the defendant's response.I will," continued the Colonel, with a fatigued but blind fatuity thatignored the hurriedly knit brows and warning eyes of the Judge, "tryagain. The note uttered by my client" (lowering his voice to thefaintest of falsettos) "was 'Keeree;' the response was 'Keerow-ow.'" Andthe Colonel's voice fairly shook the dome above him.

  Another uproar of laughter followed this apparently audaciousrepetition, but was interrupted by an unlooked-for incident. Thedefendant rose abruptly, and tearing himself away from the withholdinghand and pleading protestations of his counsel, absolutely fled fromthe court-room, his appearance outside being recognized by a prolonged"Keerow" from the bystanders, which again and again followed him in thedistance.

  In the momentary silence which followed, the Colonel's voice was heardsaying, "We rest here, your Honor," and he sat down. No less white, butmore agitated, was the face of the defendant's counsel, who instantlyrose.

  "For some unexplained reason, your Honor, my client desires to suspendfurther proceedings, with a view to effect a peaceable compromise withthe plaintiff. As he is a man of wealth and position, he is able andwilling to pay liberally for that privilege. While I, as his counsel, amstill convinced of his legal irresponsibility, as he has chosen publiclyto abandon his rights here, I can only ask your Honor's permission tosuspend further proceedings until I can confer with Colonel Starbottle."

  "As far as I can follow the pleadings," said the Judge gravely, "thecase seems to be hardly one for litigation, and I approve of thedefendant's course, while I strongly urge the plaintiff to accept it."

  Colonel Starbottle bent over his fair client. Presently he rose,unchanged in look or demeanor. "I yield, your Honor, to the wishes of myclient, and--er--lady. We accept."

  Before the court adjourned that day it was known throughout the townthat Adoniram K. Hotchkiss had compromised the suit for four thousanddollars and costs.

  Colonel Starbottle had so far recovered his equanimity as to strutjauntily towards his office, where he was to meet his fair client. Hewas surprised, however, to find her already there, and in company with asomewhat sheepish-looking young man--a stranger. If the Colonel hadany disappointment in meeting a third party to the interview, hisold-fashioned courtesy did not permit him to show it. He bowedgraciously, and politely motioned them each to a seat.

  "I reckoned I'd bring Hiram round with me," said the young lady, liftingher searching eyes, after a pause, to the Colonel's, "though he WASawful shy, and allowed that you didn't know him from Adam, or evensuspect his existence. But I said, 'That's just where you slip up,Hiram; a pow'ful man like the Colonel knows everything--and I've seen itin his eye.' Lordy!" she continued, with a laugh, leaning forward overher parasol, as her eyes again sought the Colonel's, "don't you rememberwhen you asked me if I loved that old Hotchkiss, and I told you, 'That'stellin',' and you looked at me--Lordy! I knew THEN you suspected therewas a Hiram SOMEWHERE, as good as if I'd told you. Now you jest get up,Hiram, and give the Colonel a good hand-shake. For if it wasn't for HIMand HIS searchin' ways, and HIS awful power of language, I wouldn't hevgot that four thousand dollars out o' that flirty fool Hotchkiss--enoughto buy a farm, so as you and me could get married! That's what you oweto HIM. Don't stand there like a stuck fool starin' at him. He won't eatyou--though he's killed many a better man. Come, have I got to do ALLthe kissin'?"

  It is of record that the Colonel bowed so courteously and so profoundlythat he managed not merely to evade the proffered hand of the shy Hiram,but to only lightly touch the franker and more impulsive finger-tips ofthe gentle Zaidee. "I--er--offer my sincerest congratulations--thoughI think you--er--overestimate--my--er--powers of penetration.Unfortunately, a pressing engagement, which may oblige me also to leavetown tonight, forbids my saying more. I have--er--left the--er--businesssettlement of this--er--case in the hands of the lawyers who do myoffice work, and who will show you every attention. And now let me wishyou a very good afternoon."

  Nevertheless, the Colonel returned to his private room, and it wasnearly twilight when the faithful Jim entered, to find him sittingmeditatively before his desk. "'Fo' God! Kernel, I hope dey ain't nuffinde matter, but you's lookin' mighty solemn! I ain't seen you look datway, Kernel, since de day pooh Massa Stryker was fetched home shot froode head."

  "Hand me down the whiskey, Jim," said the Colonel, rising slowly.

  The negro flew to the closet joyfully, and brought out the bottle.The Colonel poured out a glass of the spirit and drank it with his olddeliberation.

  "You're quite right, Jim," he said, putting down his glass, "butI'm--er--getting old--and--somehow I am missing poor Stryker damnably!"